Chapter 12

So I have no excuse for the long time between chapters other than I lost my motivation for a while. I can't promise another chapter will be up quickly, but I do hope that it's not another month + before the next one. Sorry guys! Also, forgive spelling and grammar errors, please.










I stayed in bed, staring up at the ceiling. This weekend was it. This was the weekend, three years ago, that McKenzie had died. That meant that there was basically no chance I was getting out of bed. Harmony knew the drill. These were the “dark days” she called them, so she didn’t have to mention McKenzie’s name. She only bothered me if it was important. A knock sounded on my door and the knob turned, Harmony’s head poking through.

“Hey, I know it’s the dark days, but I wanted to pop in. I’m going to go stay with Oliver for the weekend so you’ll have the whole place to yourself. If you need anything just call and I’ll come right back.”

I nodded and watched her give me a sad smile before backing out of my room and closing the door behind her. She knew I wouldn’t call, that I wouldn’t need her, but she always offered anyway. Once Monday came around I’d be up and ready to go, like the weekend had never happened.

I knew she always wondered what I did all weekend closed up in my room, but there wasn’t much to it. To be honest I don’t quite know myself. It’s like I zone out, only conscious for parts of the weekend. Things kind of come in and out.

I pulled the blankets up tight around me and rolled onto my side, allowing whatever came over me to come. Hours passed as I lay there in the dark. I fell in and out of restless sleep, sometimes waking with tears in my eyes. Then the sound of my phone ringing jarred me awake.

I didn’t know who would be calling. Harmony and my family knew not to bother me. When I glanced at the call ID I saw Sidney’s name. I debated letting it go to voicemail, which is what I wanted to do. Then I remembered my plan, the one where I had to be everything Sidney could want in a girl so he’d fall in love with me. I had to see what he wanted.

“Hey, Sid,” I answered, trying to sound happy to hear from him.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked.

“Just sitting around my place. How about you?” I returned.

“The same. I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow.” Oh, God, no. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day. It was the worst day of the year.

“I’ve got nothing planned,” I responded through nearly gritted teeth, regretting my do anything to get back at Sidney plan.

“Come to the game tomorrow night and then come out with us after,” he invited. I could feel my heart plummeting into my chest. Go out and be around a bunch of drunk people on that night?

“Yeah, I could do that.” I could feel myself getting nauseous even as I said it.

“Great! I’ll leave your ticket at will call.”

We talked for a couple more minutes before hanging up. I pulled the blankets up over my head after tossing my phone to the floor. I didn’t know how I was going to get through a hockey game and going out after and act like I was fine. Tomorrow night could not possibly get any worse. My phone buzzed, signaling I’d received a text. I groped around the floor until I found my phone.

Forgot to mention that a few friends from home are in for the weekend. It’ll be like a mini reunion!

I stand corrected. Tomorrow night just got a thousand times worse. How was I going to face Sidney’s friends, the ones who had made my entire existence in Cole Harbour a living hell? McKenzie, I could really use you right about now.

I took my ticket from the woman at the window and handed it to the guy at the door to scan. I slowly made my way to the section where my ticket was located. If I’d been walking any slower I wouldn’t have been moving. I glanced down the section, looking for where my seat was located. There was a row of 6 seats, all empty where my ticket was located. I was here first. I walked down the stairs, took the seat closest to the aisle in case I had to get out of there, and waited.

“Bryce Sirota,” I heard a male voice say a little while later.

I glanced up from my phone to see Sidney’s friend Zack, the ringleader of the harassment directed towards me in school, standing in the aisle smiling down at me. I saw his girlfriend Whitney, and Sidney’s other friends Aaron, Barrett and Barrett’s girlfriend Caitlin behind him. I forced a smile onto my face as I stood up to let them by.

“Hi guys. It’s been a long time,” I greeted them. They all checked me out as they passed by me and took their seats, Zack choosing the seat right next to me. He would be the one that sat there.

“So what have you been up to the last four years?” he asked. I couldn’t decide if he was really trying to be nice, or if I was being set up.

I told him about school, the plans for the restaurant. By the time I was done the game started and we both turned our attention towards the ice and Sidney. Throughout the game the group was marginally nice to me. They never directly said anything offensive, but there were definitely a few passive aggressive comments made that I chose to ignore.

I led them downstairs where I gratefully greeted the rest of the girls. It was a break from listening to high school memories I didn’t share. In fact I had been about three minutes from puking all over the row in front of me listening to the chatter of Sidney’s friends. So far, this night hadn’t been quite as bad as I’d expected, but it had still been torture.

I let out a huge sigh of relief when Sidney finally entered the family lounge and his friends turned their attention from me to him. I silently prayed that he’d claim he was tired and wanted to call it a night, but that didn’t happen. He tossed out a couple of options and let his friends pick. Next thing I knew we were headed to a sports bar.

I wanted no part of conversing with these people when we had arrived and thankfully I didn’t have to worry about that. I might as well not even been there. The only time I joined into the conversation was when Sidney made a point of asking me how I felt about something, and that wasn’t happening often.

I had finished my one and only vodka soda quite a while ago, and had been sipping on a water ever since. The longer I sat here listening to my old classmates talk the more I wished that I’d had much more than just the one drink. I was cursing myself for choosing to drive. I’d done so just so I could get out of this night as soon as possible.

“Come on, Bryce, aren’t you going to have another one?” Aaron asked. I glanced around at all the empty pitchers of beer sitting on the table.

“I’m driving,” I answered. Everyone at the table laughed, except for Sidney.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll get you home,” Whitney responded, her words slurring slightly.

“You’re all drunk,” I reminded them.

“Yeah, but Barrett’s a really good drunk driver. Trust me,” Caitlin tossed in. I looked at her in complete disgust.

“It’s true, I am,” he added in.

I couldn’t believe I was hearing this right now. Especially not tonight of all night’s. This must be some kind of bad dream. I glanced over at Sidney, waiting for him to tell them that none of them were driving because they were too drunk, but he remained silent. That’s when I decided that I’d had enough, revenge plan be damned.

“Really responsible, guys,” I shot at the table as I grabbed my keys, tossed a $20 on the table and stood up.

“What’s your problem?” Zack questioned as the entire table gave me dirty looks, except for Sidney, who just looked confused.

“My problem is that three years ago today my best friend and cousin McKenzie was driving home from a friend’s house and was hit by a drunk driver who swore he was a ‘good’ drunk driver. She was killed instantly. I have no respect for anyone who chooses to put themselves and others at risk like that.”

I didn’t wait for a response, just turned and stormed out of the bar. I was barely to my car when I heard Sidney calling my name. I turned to see him rushing over, holding a hand out to stop me from leaving. I simply glared at him.

“Bryce, hold on,” he started. I shook my head and turned away, tears forming and starting to fall from my eyes.

“This is really not a good time,” I told him through clenched teeth.

“I don’t want you to leave mad.”

“I knew it was a mistake to come out tonight. None of them have changed, and obviously neither have you. You’re a different person around them and I don’t like that version. You don’t want me mad? Then take a cab.”

I got into my car and started it up. I only glanced once more at Sidney just to make sure I didn’t hit him as I backed out of my parking spot. I managed to hold myself together until I was through the door of my apartment. Once the door was closed I slunk to the floor and let it all out. All the years of anger and hurt brought on by the group I’d spent the night with and what happened with McKenzie poured out. I should have known better.

Chapter 11

Sidney was concerned for Bryce. She’d had some sort of breakdown the other day and had gone off about things that just didn’t make any sense. At least not to him anyway. Ever since she’d helped him start putting together his house he’d had a feeling she had walls up. He didn’t know if they were just up for him, or for everyone. He just knew that for some reason he was starting to want to break them down.

Every time back home came up, she seemed to clam up either choosing to not respond to things or diverting the conversation entirely. He knew that she’d been kind of a loser, for lack of a better word, in school, but was it so bad that she couldn’t even talk about home? Maybe there was more going on that he didn’t know about. He wanted to find out.

“What’s up, Golden Boy?” his friend Zane asked when Sidney answered his ringing phone.

“Not much. Just getting rearranging some of the new furniture. You?”

“Starting to gear up for the visit next weekend!”

Zane and four of Sidney’s friends from home were all coming in next weekend for a long weekend. He always looked forward to their yearly visit. When he was with them he could really loosen up and be himself. There was nothing like friends he’d known his whole life to put life into perspective.

“Everyone’s still in, right?” he checked.

“Come on, like any of us would pull the chute?” Zane chastised. Sidney laughed along with him.

“How are things going with Whitney?” Sidney asked, referring to Zane’s on again, off again girlfriend, who was also coming down.

“Right now, things are good. We’ll see how long that lasts,” Zane responded with a laugh. “How about you? Any chicks we’re going to get to meet out there?”

Bryce immediately came to mind. It wasn’t like he and Bryce were dating. He was still trying to get to know her now as opposed to the girl he knew from school. He found that he was thinking about her more and more often though. Hell, what would his friends think when he told them he’d been spending the majority of his free time with her?

“Yeah, there is actually someone.” Sidney heard a clattering sound on the other end.

“Sorry, I dropped the phone from shock. Are you serious? There’s a girl?”

Sidney walked over to his computer and logged onto his email. He attached a picture of Bryce he’d taken while they were working on his house. She wasn’t trying to be anything in the picture, which is why he thought he loved it so much. She was putting in no effort, and she looked flawless. She’d also yelled at him when he’d snapped the photo, but he'd kept it anyway.

“Check your email,” Sidney told Zane. He purposely kept Bryce’s identity a secret so he could get Zane’s reaction.

“Jesus, Crosby, the girls a fucking smokeshow. How’d you land pussy like that?” Sidney cringed at his friend’s language. It wasn’t like he didn’t hear it on a daily basis, but for some reason, hearing Bryce described that way just didn’t seem right.

“Do you remember Bryce Sirota from school?” he asked.

“The chubby math geek? Yeah, so what? Don’t change the subject.” Sidney muffled his laugh.

“That’s Bryce in the picture,” Sidney told him. He could hear coughing coming through the phone.

“Okay, seriously. Who is the chick?” Sidney laughed, completely expecting this reaction from his friend.

“I’m not kidding. That’s Bryce Sirota. She moved to Pittsburgh with a friend after she graduated university. We ran into each other and have been hanging out ever since,” he explained.

“Okay, so somehow Bryce got hot, I’ll give her that. How can you even stand to spend time with her? Isn’t she like some weirdo genius or something?” For once, Sidney felt like maybe his friends needed to get out of Cole Harbour so they could grow up a little.

“Actually, she’s awesome. She’s been helping me put my house together so we’ve been spending a lot of time together. She’s nothing like you would have expected based on school.”

Sidney continued the conversation with Zane for a little longer about Bryce. Zane couldn’t seem to comprehend that Bryce was no longer the girl they used to know. The more he talked to Zane, the worse he felt about the years Bryce had to spend in high school with them. Sidney wasn’t naïve. He knew how his friends had been back then. Her life really must have sucked.

He hung up when another delivery of furniture showed up at his door. Despite the breakdown, Bryce had called him the next day and insisted they go out and look at more stuff. He’d ended up purchasing the majority of the furniture for his house. Throughout the entire trip she’d insisted that she was fine, but he had the same feeling he usually did around her. She was hiding something.










I checked out my reflection in the mirror, double checking my hair, makeup, and outfit choice. Harmony, Oliver, and I were headed over to Sidney’s house for a housewarming party. They’d had an afternoon game, so he’d planned it for after. I wasn’t sure what people usually wore to housewarming parties thrown by people like Sidney Crosby, but Harmony had insisted on heels, leggings, and a long and tight black shirt.

“Are you sure I look okay?” I asked Harmony for like the hundredth time. She stopped walking past the bathroom, gave me an annoyed look, and nodded.

“What the hell are you so worried about? I thought you were faking this whole relationship thing so you could crush him?”

“I am,” I replied. She rolled her eyes at me and continued on down the hall.

I followed her out and the three of us piled into Oliver’s car and headed over to Sid’s. I was a little anxious about everyone’s reaction to his place. I wasn’t exactly an interior design expert so I hoped that it was well received. I just didn’t want anyone laughing at Sidney’s place. Oliver pulled up to the house and had to park on the street. Obviously there were already people there.

I walked inside with Harmony and Oliver behind me. I immediately began to look for Sidney because I didn’t really know any of his teammates that well. I spotted him sitting on the couch in the living room talking with a group of the guys. I made my way over figuring he’d be able to introduce Harmony, Oliver, and I around to everyone.

“Hey, Bryce!” he greeted me with a smile when he saw me walk over. He said hi to Harmony and was then introduced to Oliver. He then did the courteous host thing and walked us through the house and introduced us to everyone.

It was easier to get along with and talk to his teammates and their significant others than I expected it to be. I guess when you’ve always been on the outside looking in, you put people up on such high pedestals. I just expected them all to be a little snobby and wary of outsiders. That wasn’t the case at all. The girls made sure to include Harmony and I in all their conversations and the guys recruited Oliver to game of Rock Band.

As the night wore on and I got a few drinks deep I began to think about McKenzie in a lull in the conversation. Fearing that I might have some sort of breakdown, even if it was minor, I chose to go outside onto the deck in rear of the house to get some fresh air. It was chilly, being mid-November, but I tolerated it to make sure that I could keep myself collected.

“What are you doing out here?” I heard Sidney ask. I turned to see him walking outside and shutting the door behind him, blanket in hand. I smiled at him and shrugged.

“Trying to keep my drink cold,” I joked, holding up the mostly full vodka soda. He laughed and motioned for me to sit down on the bench next to him. I did just that and he spread the blanket out over us.

“I hope no one did anything to upset you,” he started. I shook my head adamantly.

“Everyone has been great. I just wanted some fresh air. You don’t have to sit out here with me, you know.”

“I know, but what kind of host would I be if I let someone freeze outside on their own?” I laughed at him.

Just like all the other times before when we’d spent time just the two of us working on his house, we fell into easy conversation. He told me stories about his teammates and I was able to finally put faces to names of stories I’d heard from him previously. We had both reached the point where we were laughing so hard we were crying after a while.

“So Harmony seems really great,” Sidney mentioned when we’d finally calmed down. I should have taken it for the compliment that it was, but something in his comment stung me. Everyone always loved Harmony.

“Yeah, she’s never had a problem making friends,” I told him.

“Do I sense something in your tone?” he asked. I cursed myself for letting any bitterness I felt towards Harmony’s perfection that stemmed completely from my high school experiences and not at all from her get out into my tone at all.

“No, not at all. Harmony’s my best friend, and I love her. She’s just always had it all,” I said.

“What do you mean by that?” I turned towards him.

“I always say Harmony’s had things I’ve always wanted my whole life, the three P’s. She’s privileged, popular, and pretty.” The smile on Sidney’s face faded a little when I said that.

“Bryce, you’re just as pretty if not prettier than her.” His statement caught me by surprise. I don’t know how I’d expected him to respond, but it wasn’t like that.

“What?” Sidney laughed quietly, more in disbelief than in humor.

“You don’t realize how amazing you are, do you?”

I felt like my heart skipped when he said that. Suddenly my stomach was an eruption of butterflies, and I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Instead I just sat there looking at him in shock. A slow smile spread across his lips and I realized that our faces were inching closer together. Dear God, this was really going to happen. After a lifetime spent wishing, I was finally going to know what it felt like to kiss Sidney Crosby. Our lips were mere centimeters apart and I closed my eyes in anticipation.

“Hey, Crosby, what the fuck are you doing?!” a loud accented voice called out as the door was ripped open. Sidney and I both jumped in response. “Oh, shit. My apologies.” Sidney and I watched as Maxime Talbot retreated back into the house. Even so, the moment was ruined.

“I think if I stay out here any longer, I’m going to get frostbite,” I said, trying to end the awkward silence that had taken us over.

“Inside it is,” Sidney replied. We both stood up and walked back inside, and I was left wondering if I was relieved or upset.

So so sorry

If you've read the update on either of my other two stories feel free to stop reading now, because this is going to say the same thing. Life has been hectic lately and I just haven't had time to sit down and write so that I can update my stories for all of you. I'm sorry, but hopefully things are calming down now. Of course, usually when I say that, things start right back up again. And no worries to anyone out there that is concerned. While Bryce is having a hard time remembering what she set out to do to Sidney right now, she's about to get a very rude reminder. It's only going to fan the flames and remind her why she's out for revenge in the first place. I hope you stick this wait out with me and see what happens!

Chapter 10

Suddenly my life became hectic. As I drove over to Sidney’s I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spent more than half an hour by myself. Harmony and I had been busy interviewing and arguing over contractors. Then we were tossing ideas around about how we wanted the restaurant to work. My mother was calling all of the time now “just to talk” even though I knew better. On top of that I was spending the rest of my time with Sidney helping him with his house.

The restaurant was right at the top of my stress list. I was feeling more and more lost by the day. I was also losing any faith I had that Harmony and I were going to be able to pull this off. I don’t know how I got talked into this and I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a failure at something so soon out of college. I really should have just looked for a normal job.

My mother was next on the list. Things always got worse at this time of year. It was two weeks before the day McKenzie had died. My aunt and uncle were a mess for the entire month of November which meant that they relied on my parents for everything. My dad was never very involved in anyone else’s lives, and he spent as much of this month away from home as possible because of my aunt and uncle. This put all the pressure on my mom to carry the family through it which meant she called me over every little thing.

It was even worse this year because mom didn’t want to call Kellen ever. She’d told me that she just didn’t want to disrupt his relationship with Raina. I should have lied to my mother and told her that I had a guy in my life just to see if that would make her leave me alone too, but I doubted it. All I knew was that I wanted someone, just one person to stop leaning on me this month so I could grieve McKenzie too.

I don’t know why I had added completely decorating every room in Sidney’s house to the list, but I had. Thankfully it was the least stressful thing I was dealing with at the moment. Despite spending every moment I could at his house painting and planning, it was the most fun part of my day, which was sad. Nothing about Sidney himself was stressful, but decorating his house while I was planning on crushing him just seemed so wrong.

I wanted nothing more than for this year to be over with. I hated November because of McKenzie. As soon as the date of her death passed I got smacked right in the face with the month of December and holidays. I might hate Christmas more than Thanksgiving, which was saying a lot about how much I hated it. Just another day I was forced to spend time with a family I didn’t understand and who didn’t understand me fresh off the grief of losing McKenzie.

I pulled into Sidney’s driveway and took a deep breath. I could feel it coming. I was going to crack soon and it wasn’t going to be pretty. I just hoped I could hold it in long enough to do it when I found time to myself, and I could just let go of everything. It was almost time for my yearly breakdown, only this time, there was so much more weight on my shoulders.

“I can drive,” Sidney called out, walking out of his house.

“Sounds good to me,” I accepted.

We’d finally finished painting Sidney’s house. We’d literally done every room, which had been no small task. He didn’t exactly live in a small house. If you asked me, it was too big for just him, but I guess he was planning on being there for a while and a family might be in his future. We were now moving on to the decorating part. I already had ideas of what I thought would be good for each room, but I had to see what Sid wanted.

“How is everything?” he asked, as he backed out of the driveway.

“Everything’s great,” I lied, forcing a smile onto my face. There was no reason to get into it right now. We conversed with our usual small talk on the trip until we reached the destination. First stop, furniture.

“Okay, Sid, I don’t want you to think about what would look good with color schemes or anything. Just point out things you like so I can get an idea of your style and we can work from there, okay?” I knew that he was stressed about this part, worried that he didn’t know what he was doing and I wanted to make it as easy as possible for him.

We walked around the store studying furniture, sitting on couches and chairs. He pointed out some of the stuff he liked best and I did what I could to find something as close to it as possible that would match the room it was meant for. I was grateful to see that Sidney’s taste in things was very similar to mine, which made life easy.

We made the rounds to a few different stores to compare and check out options. By the last store we were planning on hitting I was exhausted. I found an antique looking couch and collapsed on it. I was completely overdramatic about it, falling onto it like I was fainting. My legs remained hanging off of the side as I laid back, draping my arm over my forehead much like a distressed woman in an old movie would have done.

“You alright?” Sidney asked with a smile and a small laugh at my dramatics.

“I’m just so tired,” I told him. I didn’t have time to elaborate even if I’d wanted to. The sound of my phone ringing broke the conversation off.

“We have a problem,” Harmony told me. No, not what I needed right now.

“What problem?” I asked, sitting up.

“I think you should come to the restaurant,” was her reply.

“I’ll be right there.” I hung up and glanced up at Sidney. “There’s some sort of emergency. I have to go to the restaurant. Do you mind?”

“No, not at all. I’m actually curious to see what the place looks like,” he responed. I smiled and stood up, leading the way out of the store.

“Nothing like a restaurant,” I said with a laugh.

I fought traffic to get to the restaurant as fast as I could. If Harmony, the most care-free person I’d ever met, said there was a problem, there was definitely a problem. I found a place to park, and practically ran into the restaurant, Sidney on my heels. I found Harmony sitting on the floor looking over some papers. She looked up at Sidney in surprise when we walked in.

“Hey,” she greeted him, as she gave me a questioning look.

“We were looking at furniture,” I explained. She just nodded and gave me one of those ‘sure you were’ smiles of hers. “What’s the problem?”

“Okay, remember that contractor we both liked, but he was really expensive so we weren’t sure we wanted to go with him?” Harmony asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, he was just offered another job. Because we’d gone to him first he’s giving us first dibbs if we want him. He just wants to know by tomorrow.” I let out a sigh and sat down on the floor beside Harmony.

This was a huge decision to make, and we had less than 24 hours to do it in. As if I needed anything else on my plate right now. I sat quietly and thought about what we should do. Even though Harmony had said there was no budget, I think we both knew that we could only spend so much on renovations without being completely indebted to somebody.

“I’m just not sure I like how much he charges,” I told her after a while.

“I know, but he seems amazing. We have all these great references, we’ve talked to multiple people who have nothing but good things to say about him. He really seems like he’d do the best job. Is he worth the money?” I covered my face with my hands and groaned.

“If you think it’s what we should do, we’ll make it work,” I decided, knowing that a long, drawn out argument would ensue if I didn’t agree to hire him. Sometimes it sucked being the best friend of a hard-headed person.

“Okay, I’ll give him a call. I should go and get ready. Oliver’s taking me out tonight. Lock up behind you,” Harmony said as she stood up. Sidney and I said goodbye to her and I watched her walk out and down the street.

“Want the tour?” I asked Sidney. He nodded and I began to lead him around the place, showing him where we thought we wanted everything.

It felt like every step I took around the place increased my stress level exponentially. By the time I’d locked up one side and led Sidney to the space next door I knew I was headed for trouble. My breakdown was going to come much earlier than all the others. I just had to hold it together for a little longer, had to keep it in until I’d dropped Sidney off.

Then he had to go and ask if I wanted to have dinner with him since we were already out. I don’t know what about that question did it, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Standing right in the middle of the future restaurant I broke down and began to cry. At first tears just slid slowly and quietly from my eyes, but once they started I couldn’t stop them. Soon I was a blubbering idiot.

“Bryce, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Sidney asked as I melted down to the floor and covered my face with my hands.

“No. No, I’m not okay,” I told him. I felt his arm slide around my shoulders as he got down onto the floor next to me.

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t do this. It’s too much. There’s just too much. I don’t know what I’m doing. We don’t know what we’re doing. How are we supposed to be successful if we don’t have a clue? And why does my mom have to be the way she is and why can’t my dad just fucking be there for anyone? Why does Kellen get to have a pass because he has a girlfriend? How come this all has to happen before the holidays and why are there so many awful people in this world?” I wailed, knowing even as I said it that I wasn’t making any sense.

“It’ll be okay. Bryce, I promise, it’s going to be okay,” Sidney said, pulling me into him. I let him wrap his arms around me and hold me while I cried. Only Harmony had ever done that for me before, and it was nice to be held.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I apologized when I finally composed myself enough to pull away.

I looked up at Sidney embarrassed for breaking down the way I just had in front of him. He looked right back at me and into my eyes. He gave me a small smile. Then he lifted his hands and placed his thumbs on my cheeks, just below my eyes. He slowly used them to wipe the tears and mascara off of my face, and I could feel myself forgetting why I wanted to hurt him.

“Whatever’s going on, whatever has you so upset, will pass. It might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better eventually. If there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it’s that things will always get better over time. I’m here to talk, if you ever need me. Please know that.”

Just those words almost had me in tears again. It was the first time they’d ever been spoken to me. I nodded and managed to choke out a thank you. Sidney offered to drive me home and I took him up on it. I walked into a dark condo and let the tears come back. I went straight to bed and pulled the blankets up around me. I finally had my alone time.

Chapter 9

Sidney sat down in his living room and flipped on the TV. He idly changed the channels without paying a whole lot of attention to what was on. This living by yourself in your own house thing wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. Sure, it was nice to have your own place, but sometimes it was downright boring, like right now. He hadn’t had anything to do after practice today and now he was just sitting here with nothing to do.

He couldn’t help himself, he was someone that needed to have things to do. He enjoyed down time as much as the next guy, but he was so used to being busy that if he had nothing scheduled it drove him crazy. It was days like this that he’d liked living at the Lemieux house. Someone had always been home whether it was Mario, Nathalie, or one of the kids. He always had someone to talk to and spend time with.

He debated calling up one of the guys to see what they were doing, but decided against it. Instead he glanced around the living room and looked at the plain white and blank walls. Maybe he should start figuring out how to decorate his house. He stared hard at the wall in front of him and tried to picture what would be on it, but was drawing a blank. He knew next to nothing about decorating and didn’t know where to start.

Maybe he should just hire somebody to do it for them. That way he didn’t have to do anything himself. He could just tell them to avoid using certain colors and let them do their thing. Even if he wasn’t thrilled with the outcome, any decoration would be better than the blank house he was living in now. Suddenly the sound of his phone’s ring tone pulled him out of his thoughts. He smiled when he saw it was Bryce.

She’d been a very pleasant surprise. He hadn’t expected to randomly run into anyone from home, let alone Bryce, here in Pittsburgh. He also hadn’t expected Bryce to be the girl he was getting to know and was enjoying spending some of his time with. She just wasn’t what he’d always thought she was all through school.

His change in opinion had as much to do with how she looked now as it did with her personality. Outwardly she was a completely different person than he’d known. Inwardly she was a different person than he’d have suspected. Bryce had been the typical loner math geek. He’d never really thought much about her at all. Now he thought about her a fair amount.

It turns out that Bryce actually had a personality. She was witty, sarcastically funny, not afraid to voice her opinion, and mysterious. He couldn’t help but marvel at how outgoing she was now. Even so he could tell that she was holding something back, hence the mysterious. There was more to Bryce Sirota than met the eye, and the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to find out what that was.

“I had a disaster of epic proportions with a container of oats. Don’t ask me how it happened, but I destroyed the container and had to find something to do with the oats so I made an enormous amount of oatmeal raisin cookies. Please tell me you’ll take some so I don’t put on 100 pounds from eating them all myself,” she gushed out when he answered.

“How many did you make?” he asked after he finished laughing at her.

“Uh, I stopped counting at 5 dozen,” she replied. He nearly choked.

“You just made more than 5 dozen oatmeal raisin cookies?” She laughed at his question.

“I told you I needed help!” she exclaimed.

“Okay, I have an idea. I’ll take all of them if you come over and help me figure out what to do with my house,” he bargained.

“Deal!” she agreed. He rattled off his address and she told him she’d be over soon.

Bryce showed up at his door 45 minutes later in a pair of jeans and a black sweater, carrying multiple containers in her arms. He laughed when he saw the amount as he took them out of her hands and led her back to his kitchen so he could put them down. She blew her bangs off of her forehead as she collapsed down onto a stool at the breakfast bar.

“Thank you so much!” He opened one of the containers and took out a cookie, taking a bite.

“No, thank you,” he returned when he tasted the oaty goodness of these amazing cookies. She laughed in response.

“What the hell are you going to do with all of these cookies anyway?” she wanted to know.

“The guys will eat them,” he assured her as he popped another cookie into his mouth.

“Oh, right. I forget about the stomach capacity of hockey players,” she cracked. He grinned over at her.

“Well, if you’re going to help me with the house, I should probably give you the tour.” Bryce agreed and got up from her seat on the stool.

He led her through the house showing her each room and she took time in each one to really look them over. He wasn’t sure exactly how much Bryce knew about interior design, but he was hoping that at the very least she could give him a starting point. They ended the tour back down in the living room where Bryce sat down on the floor instead of on the couch.

“Okay, the first thing we need to do is figure out paint. Everything else depends on the color scheme of the room. What’s your favorite color?” He sat down on the floor next to her and turned his gaze to the wall she was looking at.

“Green.” She nodded and kept her eyes trained on the wall as she fell silent.

She then began asking him about what he wanted out of each room. Did he want to entertain in them, who would be in them, what they would be used for, and so on. He hadn’t realized so much went into paint color. He answered each question as Bryce wrote down his responses in a small notebook she’d pulled out of her purse.

“Are you up for shopping for paint?” she asked when her questions ceased.

“Right now?” he returned. She shrugged.

“Do you have something to do?”

“No.”

“Then yes, right now.” She stood up and he followed suit.

He offered to drive and they got into his car and headed to a paint store. They walked inside and Bryce headed straight for a wall covered in paint chip samples. She immediately began pulling strips out and looking them over. He watched as she surveyed each one, keeping some in her hands and putting others back. She seemed satisfied after a while and waved him over, spreading the strips out on the counter.

“Okay, I grabbed a bunch of different types of green. It’s up to you which color you like best,” she told him. He didn’t know how he could ever make a decision with the options in front of him. It was just too much.

However he went through and immediately pulled out the shades of green he didn’t like. Then he had to get Bryce’s help. Eventually they settled on a light sage and then they got to work picking out accenting colors. Then they had to move on to other colors for the other rooms. It took a while but eventually they knew what they needed and he put the order in.

Since it was going to take a while for all the paint to be ready they went out for some coffee and hung out. Once they figured they’d killed enough time they headed back to the paint store to pick up their cans of paint. Bryce grabbed the rest of the things they’d need while he carried cans out to his car. Once he’d paid they headed back to his house.

“Thanks for doing this with me. I wouldn’t have even known where to start,” he said to her.

“That’s what friends are for, right?”










I spread the drop cloth out over the entirety of the room while Sidney pushed the little bit of furniture he owned out of there. Once done with that we got to work taping. This part by far was my least favorite part of painting. Even so, I couldn’t handle anything less than perfection, and I knew I didn’t have the sturdiest hand.

“How do you know all this?” Sidney asked me after I finished showing him how to use the roller and make sure he didn’t use too much paint.

“I’m pretty sure my mom painted the entire house a different color about every other year,” I told him. He laughed and shook his head.

“I’ve just started doing this and I’m annoyed. How could anyone want to do it that often?” I let out an incredulous laugh.

“No one said my mother was sane.” He laughed at that, probably figuring I was being sarcastic. Unfortunately I wasn’t.

We talked while we painted, mostly about his hockey career and my college days leading into opening the restaurant. I felt like we were both dancing around saying anything too personal about ourselves, like neither of us really wanted to talk about it. We took a break after finishing the room, which also happened to be the biggest wall, and ordered some dinner.

“Do you still keep in touch with anyone from home?” Sidney asked just as I popped a piece of a spicy scallop roll in my mouth.

“Uh, no, not really. Just my family,” I replied shifting uncomfortably in my seat. I wasn’t liking where this conversation was heading.

“Really? No one from school?” he pushed. I did my best not to glare at him and tell him that he’d destroyed any chance of that.

“Really, no one. I didn’t have many friends. I kind of kept to myself.” Even though I knew that he was aware of that fact, I could hear my voice quieting as I said it, like I was embarrassed. I kind of was. “How about you?”

“The same group I always spent time with. They haven’t changed or treated me any differently since I went pro. Other than that, not really.”

We finished the sushi and headed back out to continue painting. We’d moved on to the next room at this point and the smell of paint was beginning to permeate the entire house. We were quiet for a little while until Sidney started sneezing. It got us laughing and talking again, keeping the mood light.

We’d started on opposite sides of the room and worked towards each other. I had my back to him and didn’t see that he’d moved really close, and brought his paint tray with him. I took a step backwards and felt the cold liquid ooze between my toes just in time to feel myself slip backwards and land with a hard thump on my back, paint splattering all over.

“Jesus, Bryce, are you okay?” Sidney asked, squatting down next to me, a look of concern on his face.

I simply looked up at him from my position and then began to laugh. He made a face that told me he was trying not to laugh, but eventually he burst into laughter as well. When I’d finally managed to stop, I sat up and glanced around me. My foot and the bottom of my jeans was covered in light sage. Then I felt paint dripping down my back. That’s when I realized that I had paint all over me.

“And that is why we needed a drop cloth,” I told him with a laugh as he helped me up off the floor.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh,” he said between giggles as I felt paint start to roll down my forehead from my hair.

“It’s okay, it really is funny,” I assured him with a laugh of my own. “I don’t suppose you could let me shower.”

“Yeah, sure.” Before I had a chance to respond I was suddenly in his arms and he was moving towards the stairs. Being lifted into his arms was unexpected and threw me off for a moment. Feeling his arms wrapped around me, my face so close to his was causing my heart to begin to race.

“What are you doing?” I asked, in a little bit of a panic.

“I wasn’t about to let you walk through my house leaving green footprints everywhere,” he explained. The explanation calmed me when I realized that there was a completely logical explanation to being in his arms.

He put me down in his shower and brought in a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt for me to put on when I got out. After handing me a towel, Sidney walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I stripped off my clothes and did my best to rinse all the paint off my body and from my hair. I dried off, threw my wet hair up in a messy bun, and put on his clothes.

The smell of him hit me as I slid the t-shirt over my head. I hadn’t really been close enough to really smell him before, but now I could, and it smelled incredible. It was then that I realized that this had been my ultimate fantasy at one time in my life. I was standing in Sidney Crosby’s house, wearing his clothes. The 14 year old version of me would be so jealous.

The 22 year old version of me wanted to get home and get out of his clothes so the 14 year old me would stop confusing my brain. I didn’t like having those old emotions stirred up inside me when I was on a mission to hurt the same guy I used to be in love with. I pulled the drawstring tight to keep the pants from falling off of me and made my way out of the bathroom.

“I think I’ve had enough painting for now,” I stated as I stepped into the kitchen where Sidney was putting away dishes. He turned to me and laughed.

“That’s understandable.”

“I think I’m just going to head home and get these clothes washed. Maybe I can salvage something. I’ll bring your clothes back tomorrow.” Sidney and I had already made plans for me to come back tomorrow and continue the painting process.

“Don’t worry about rushing it. You can give them back whenever. Let me give you a sweatshirt to wear home. It’s cold out there.”

I took the sweatshirt he offered me and said goodbye. I stepped out of my car and headed into my building amidst strange stares at my oversized Pittsburgh Penguins ensemble. I averted my eyes from all of theirs, put my head down, and kept it down until I walked into the condo. Immediately I heard laughter coming from Harmony.

“That was fast,” she commented, eyeing my clothes with her eyebrows raised. I tossed the bag that held my paint stained clothes.

“I didn’t sleep with him. I fell into paint.” She opened the bag and looked inside before laughing again. I rolled my eyes and shut myself up in my room. I moved to take Sidney’s clothes off, but hesitated. One night in them couldn’t hurt.

Chapter 8

I always hate when people say things happen for a reason. I think that’s complete bullshit. There isn’t always a reason for things. Some things are just senseless, meaningless, reasonless. I sat in the seat of the plane and stared down at the worn picture in my hand. Sometimes when I looked at it I laughed. Sometimes I cried. Right now I felt angry.

McKenzie had been facing the camera, but her eyes were upturned to the sky, a half-pout, half-pucker on her lips, her blonde hair cascading in waves around her. At first glance her expression read innocence, but when you looked a little harder, a little closer, you could see the cockiness, the ‘I know I’m irresistible’ look on her face. That was McKenzie for you. She looked like an angel, but she’d kick your ass if she had the mind to.

Then there was me. I’d been away at school for a year at this point, and looked nothing like I had when I left. Everything about me had changed, and McKenzie had loved it. We were drunk, acting like fools, snapping goofy pictures. In this one my arms were wrapped around McKenzie, and I was kissing her on the cheek with a smirk on my face.

Her sense of humor was witty, quick, and even a little goofy. She was the funniest person I’d ever known. It was part of the reason I’d only ever called her Monkey. Half of the time she acted like one, in the best way possible. I’d also called her that because when we were both little my attempts to pronounce her name had sounded like Monkey. It also didn’t hurt that they were her favorite animal.

I missed her, more than I could ever express. Her death had affected me more than anything else could have. I’d lost my cousin and my best friend all at once. Her death didn’t happen for a reason. Her death to me was senseless, meaningless, and reasonless. It happened too soon in her life and too quick for me to have been at all prepared.

“What did your mother do?” Harmony asked when I met her outside the airport. I threw my bag into the trunk and sat down in the car.

“Aside from being her typical crazy self, nothing.”

“Then why do you look like someone punched you in the stomach?”

“I’ve just been thinking about Kenz a lot since I went home,” I explained. Harmony gave me a sympathetic smile before starting the car and pulling away from the curb.

“Are you still up for heading right to the restaurant or do you just want to go home?” she checked. Harmony had called me while I was home and told me that we had gotten the space we wanted, including the empty space next door.

“Let’s just go right there. I need to think about something else.”

I didn’t talk again during the car ride, choosing instead to watch the world go by out the window as Harmony drove. We pulled up to where the restaurant was going to be and I followed Harmony inside. She dropped a folder on the floor and pulled out a notebook and a pen. We were here to start bouncing ideas off of each other and decide how we wanted the restaurant to look.

We made our way to the back of the property and began discussing office space, how big it needed to be, if we would share it or have our own, etc. We worked our way out to the front as we threw out ideas on how we could have the construction done. Eventually we made our way next door and debated whether to take down the entire wall separating the properties or keep part of it up. We finished standing outside looking into both windows and trying to envision what it would look like.

Harmony received a phone call from Oliver, the guy she’d been seeing since we’d gotten to Pittsburgh. I made my way back inside and sat on the floor as I waited for Harmony to finish her conversation. Sitting there in the middle of the empty space I began to feel overwhelmed and stressed out. This was really going to happen, and I didn’t have the slightest clue how to do this whole restaurant thing.

I shot a quick text to Sidney telling him I was back in Pittsburgh. I received one back asking if Harmony and I wanted to go to his game the next night. I replied without consulting her, knowing she’d be up for it and told him we were in. After confirming that he’d leave tickets and passes for us like last time we ended the short conversation just as Harmony walked back inside.

“Sorry, I was just making plans for dinner tonight with Ollie,” she told me, taking a seat across from me on the floor.

“That’s fine. I just made plans for us for tomorrow night.” She lifted an eyebrow at me and waited for an explanation. “Sidney’s going to leave us tickets for the game tomorrow.”

“Ah, the golden prince wants to see you again.” I shrugged.

“Apparently.”

“You don’t look or sound as disgusted as you usually do when he comes up.” I shot Harmony a dirty look and she rolled her eyes at me in response. “How about those Pirates?”

“Funny.”

“I try. Okay, so I guess that we should start calling contractors and making appointments to get the ball rolling on this place,” she suggested, changing the subject.

“What are we looking at as far as a budget is concerned? What’s our time frame for things to get done?” I asked.

“Budget is a word I’ve never understood. And I think we need to get this work done as soon as possible without sacrificing quality. We’ll see what they estimate and weigh the pros and cons before making a decision.”

I cringed at her saying there was no budget, but didn’t argue. I’d known Harmony for four years and there was no arguing with her over money. We made phone calls and made appointments with contractors on a list Harmony had with her before packing up what we’d brought with us and getting back into her car to head home.

The next night Harmony and I headed out for dinner and then to the rink for the game. We picked up our tickets and passes at will call and had no problem finding our seats this time. Harmony handed me the drink I’d ordered and we turned to face the ice and wait for puck drop. That’s when the two women we’d met at the last game stepped in front of us.

“Hey, Bryce and Harmony, right?” the blonde one asked, a smile on her face.

“Yeah. Heather and Veronique?” Harmony double-checked. They nodded before sitting down in the seats in front of us and turning so that they could continue the conversation.

“Please, call me Vero. I heard you grew up down the street from Sidney.”

“Yeah, just a few houses away,” I confirmed.

“We’re really sorry if we seemed rude the last time we saw you. It’s just that everyone associated with this team is really protective of Sid and we weren’t sure what to think when we realized you were here for him. He’s never given a girl tickets before,” Heather apologized.

“Don’t apologize, it’s completely understandable,” Harmony assured them.

“What was Sidney like before all of this?” Vero asked, gesturing to the rink and crowd with her hand. I had to be careful what I said here, because part of me felt like every word I said tonight was going to get back to Sid.

“Honestly, I didn’t know him all that well. We weren’t in the same social circle in school. My perception of him though was that he was a nice kid, loyal to his friends, polite to most people, and just liked to have fun.” Nothing that I said was a lie, but I’d skipped right around him actually being a dick.

“He really hasn’t changed,” Heather cracked.

The four of us talked on and off throughout the game and I found myself liking them. They introduced Harmony and I to some of the other wives and girlfriends and that was when I felt like the new kid at school. Suddenly questions were being fired at me about growing up, about Sidney, about what I’d been doing the last few years and wanted to do in the next few. I felt like I was being interviewed for a job.

By the end of the game I never wanted to discuss myself ever again and I was glad it was over. I guess I should have seen it coming eventually. If I wanted to break into that group I’d have to endure that kind of thing. And I did need them to like me. Befriending this group of girls was a crucial part of my plan with Sidney. How could I make him fall for me if the other girls didn’t like me?

Harmony and I made our way inside the family lounge this time instead of waiting outside. We were offered food and drinks, but turned down both. We chatted with everyone until guys started filtering in. That was when it all started over again. There were more questions about Sidney and I, and I put a smile on my face and answered them all. Based on what they were saying to me, it was obvious that Sidney was talking about me to them. That was always a good sign.

“So what is it you see in Crosby?” the guy who had been introduced to me as Max Talbot asked.

I’d remembered being mistaken as a girl here to see him last game. I checked him out and could see how he could get away with being a bit of a manwhore. The guy was cute, the accent made him cuter, and in the five minutes we’d spent in the same room he’d already nearly charmed the pants off of me.

“What makes you think I see anything in him?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. He laughed and shook his head.

“You’re really telling me you have no interest in him?” he asked incredulously.

“I’m only telling you that it’s nice to have a familiar face in a strange city and I’m only interested in getting to know him again,” I replied as diplomatically as possible. I knew I couldn’t appear desperate, but I also knew that I had to at least imply that maybe there was something there I liked.

“Talbot, back away from the girl,” I heard Sidney say and I turned to see him walk into the room.

“Come on, Capitaine, I wasn’t hurting her,” he said putting both his hands in the air in surrender.

“Not yet anyway,” Harmony joked. Max turned his attention to her and I watched as his eyes traveled the length of her. “I’m taken, Superstar.” Sidney and I laughed as Max groaned and pretended to stab himself in the heart with a fake knife.

“Don’t you have any single friends, Sid?” he asked.

“Not that I’d ever send your way, Talbot,” he shot back.

Sidney led Harmony and I out of the lounge and through the hallways of the rink to the exit. He asked if we wanted to grab something to eat, and like we’d discussed Harmony claimed to want to meet up with Oliver. When Sidney turned to look at me, I agreed and followed him to his car while Harmony left to go to ours.

“Hey, hold on,” Sidney said, taking hold of my arm and stopping me in the middle of the parking lot.

“What’s up?” I asked curiously.

“Are you okay? Really? The other day you just sounded…..upset.”

I saw the look of concern on his face and I felt the same stab of pain in my chest that I’d felt as I sat next to McKenzie’s grave. Whatever his feelings about me were in the past to do what he did to me, right now he seemed to actually care. For just a second I questioned what I was doing, but then I remembered sitting by the lake for hours on end alone that night, and my resolve was back.

“Yeah, I am. My family is just tough to deal with sometimes,” I told him.

“I know the feeling all too well,” he agreed, his voice becoming a little strained. I began to wonder if maybe things in Sidney’s life weren’t quite as perfect as they seemed. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thank you. That’s really sweet.”

We continued on to his car where he opened the door for me. That was a first for me and I thanked him again. We headed out to a quiet dinner at a place that seemed to stay open just for him. There was only one other table in there and they paid no attention to us as we were seated. Sidney and I spent the meal talking and actually having a pretty good time. As he drove me home he mentioned his house and how unfinished it was.

“When you get some free time, let me know. I’d be more than happy to come over and help with whatever you need,” I offered. He looked at me gratefully and agreed.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” he said to me when he pulled up outside my apartment building.

“Thanks for inviting me. I’ll talk to you later.” I gave a wave and turned to walk inside. So far, so good.

Chapter 7

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I swear it won't be this long again. Also, it's late, so sorry if there's spelling or grammatical errors. I'm just too tired to proofread, but I wanted to get a chapter up. Thanks for the patience!










As the plane flew at however many thousands of feet in the air I wondered why the hell I’d agreed to go home for Thanksgiving. It wasn’t like it was some warm family holiday like in most houses. It held memories of my parents fighting, my grandparents fawning over Kellen, my aunts and uncles trying to one up each other, and me sitting alone wishing someone knew I existed. Only McKenzie had ever made time to talk to me and she wouldn’t be there.

The landing was smooth and I waited patiently for the cabin to clear out so I could grab my carry on and get off the plane. As long as things had been on time, Kellen should have arrived at the airport from his flight from Montreal about 20 minutes before me. I headed to where we’d decided to meet, excited to see him.

Kellen and I had never been close as kids. He was the athletic, popular older brother and I’d been anything but. I hadn’t even been the annoying tag-a-long little sister because I’d always known my whole life that I didn’t fit in with him and his friends. I knew our distance had nothing to do with his treatment of me and everything to do with my intentional avoidance of him. Kellen had never made me feel like he didn’t want me around, I did that to myself.

When Kellen had left for school he’d made sure to send me emails separate from any conversation he had with Mom and Dad once in a while, but that still hadn’t done anything to make us any closer. It wasn’t until I went away to school that I realized I didn’t want to be a stranger to my own brother. Our relationship grew with my new outlook on life and now it was strange if we didn’t talk at least once a week, with multiple emails and texts exchanged between us.

As I approached our meeting place I spotted Kellen sitting down. I began to smile as I walked, excited to see him. He turned his head and smiled back at me when he saw me coming. I watched as he stood up, and I picked up speed to reach him. That’s when I saw the attractive blonde with bright blue eyes stand up along with him. My smile began to fade when I saw her. Who the hell was she?

“Bryce! You look amazing. How’s Pittsburgh?” Kellen greeted me with a hug. I took my eyes off of the beautiful stranger as I hugged him back.

“Pittsburgh is interesting. Look at you, big bro. Not too shabby yourself,” I replied looking him over as we pulled apart.

“I want to introduce you to someone. Bryce, this is my girlfriend Raina. Raina, this is my sister Bryce.” Girlfriend?! How, in all this time, had Kellen never told me about a girlfriend?! He was getting it later.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Raina said as we shook hands and I smiled back at her. If Kellen liked her, she had to be a good person.

“You too. How was your trip out?” I asked.

We began to walk as we talked and I found myself liking Raina as well. Either she was a hell of an actress or the sweetest person on the planet. I winked over at Kellen and nodded my head in approval at one point behind Raina’s back. His face flushed a little, which I’d never seen, and I knew he’d marry her someday as long as she didn’t do anything psychotic to screw it up.

“So do Mom and Dad know that you brought Raina?” I asked Kellen when we pulled up in front of our old house. He gave me a look that told me he hadn’t. I couldn’t help the little bit of joy that rippled through me when I realized that my mother might be too caught up with the Raina surprise to give me trouble about not choosing a better career.

We walked through the front door, and I made sure to be last in. If I was lucky my parents wouldn’t even pay any attention to me. As luck would have it, I managed to get only a passing hello as my mother fussed over Raina and exclaimed her surprise over and over again. If nothing else, my mother was dramatic.

I snuck upstairs to my old room and closed the door as soon as I could. I looked around before sitting down on my bed. I hated who this room represented. I made a mental note to do my best to convince my mother to transform it into an office or guest room or something so I’d never have to see this stuff again.

I began to unpack the little I had brought with me for these few days when there was a knock on my door. My mom didn’t even wait for me to say it was okay to come in before she opened the door. She still had absolutely no respect for my privacy even now in my adult years. She glanced at the shirt I was holding in my hands and smiled.

“It’s so nice to see that you’ve finally come out of your shell,” she said. I fought back the urge to send a sarcastic comment her way.

“Thanks,” I replied instead. I continued to finish putting things away while she stood there watching me.

“So Raina seems like a sweet girl,” she commented. I knew she didn’t come up here to talk to me about Raina, but I waited her out like I knew she wanted me to.

“Yeah, she does. I can’t believe Kellen didn’t tell anyone he was bringing her.”

“Well, the more the merrier for holidays.” She was quiet again and I knew I had only about another 30 seconds left before she dropped whatever she’d come up here to really say on me. “Is there anyone in your life?” There it was.

“No, Mom, there’s no one right now.”

“I just don’t understand. You’re such a beautiful girl now.” I gritted my teeth at the fact that she had to throw the ‘now’ in there.

“I’ve been really busy with the restaurant lately, that’s all.”

“Right, the restaurant.” She heaved a dramatic sigh and I rolled my eyes at the obvious distaste in her statement. She wouldn’t be happy unless I was doing something prestigious and making a lot of money. “What about that Crosby boy from down the street? Isn’t he in Pittsburgh?”

I looked up at my mother in surprise. I hadn’t expected her to bring up Sidney at all. It wasn’t like our families were friends or anything. I thought about Sidney for a moment and debated how much to tell my mother. I couldn’t exactly tell her what my plan for him was. In the end I decided to avoid telling her anything at all.

“Yes, he is.”

“You should get dinner with him or something some night.” She said it like Sidney and I had been best friends growing up and it would only be natural for us to get together like old friends.

“I’m sure he’s plenty busy with the season.”

“I always thought Troy and Trina were very sweet people,” she continued, and I had to bite my lip to keep from openly scoffing at her. She didn’t know the last thing about the Crosby’s.

“I’m sure they are.”

“You know, I think you and Sidney would make a cute couple.” Great, my mom didn’t want me to be a doctor or lawyer, she wanted me to be a trophy wife. Thanks, Mom.

We made our way downstairs and I couldn’t believe only an hour had passed since I’d gotten into town. I didn’t know how I was going to handle another couple of days of this. Unfortunately for me, Thanksgiving wasn’t just a one day event in our house. Family was in and out for days and before I knew it, two sets of aunts and uncles, and two sets of grandparents were spread throughout the house.

I was currently sitting in a chair stuck into a corner of the living room right next to the kitchen, as far out of the way of everyone else as possible. It was uncanny how often this was the chair I ended up stuck in. I was also listening to my grandparents take turns giving Raina the third degree and telling Kellen how great she was, my aunts and uncles talk about who was more stressed about work, and my parents arguing over the texture of the mashed potatoes. No one was acknowledging me. Yep, it was Thanksgiving in the Sirota household alright.

By the time Thanksgiving morning rolled around two days later I was stressed out and desperate to get away from my family. I was about ready to explode, and before I could even think about what I was doing, my phone was in my hand and the number was already dialed. I listened to it ring and then wanted to smack myself when I heard the voicemail pick up.

“Hey, this is Sidney. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” I listened to the boringly generic voicemail before realizing that there had been a beep signaling that I was now being recorded.

“Hi, Sid, it’s Bryce. I forgot you had a game tonight. I just…..I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to talk. Don’t worry about calling me back. Good luck tonight and I’ll just talk to you later sometime.” I hung up and wondered why the hell I’d called him.

I leaned back against the wall as I sat on my bed and let out a long breath. There was only one other thing I could do to keep myself from snapping right now. I grabbed the keys to my mother’s car and snuck out the back door, not that that was necessary. I’d hardly had three words said to me in the last two days that wasn’t my mother getting on my case about either the restaurant or being single.

I started up the car, double checked to make sure I had the stuffed gorilla I’d brought from home, and then pulled out of the driveway. I drove the familiar route in silence and stopped at the gate. The doors were open and looming in front of me and I paused like I always did at them. After taking a few deep breaths I pulled through the gates and slowly drove down the path, stopping in the same spot I always did.

I grabbed the gorilla and got out of the car. Just like every other time I’d been here, I put on the proverbial blinders and focused only on my destination. If I thought about the other areas around me, it just wouldn’t feel right being here. I walked the short distance and stopped in front of the gravestone reading ‘McKenzie Sirota’. I knelt down and leaned the monkey against it.

“Hey, Kenz, it’s Bryce. I’m sorry I haven’t been here in so long. It’s just tough coming back here without you, ya know? I brought a gorilla with me. I know you can’t actually physically have them, but I can’t help but bring one each time I come. They remind me so much of you, Monkey. I still have the gray one you gave me when I was 6. I don’t go anywhere without him.”

I choked back a sob as my eyes filled with tears. A few spilled over and I watched them slide off my cheeks and onto the ground in front of me. It had been three years since McKenzie had died, but I’d never get over it. She’d been so much more than my cousin. Really, she’d been my only friend growing up. She’d been the only person who made me feel like I was worth something.

“Things are still the same around here. The only thing that’s different is that Kellen has a girlfriend named Raina. She’s really funny. Not quite as funny as you, Monkey, but you would have loved her. Your Mom and Dad are doing okay. I can tell they still miss you a lot, but they’re doing their best to be happy like you would have wanted. I know you always hated when people were sad. It’s only because we all loved you so much.”

A strange buzzing sound filled the air and I jerked my head up and began to look around. I couldn’t see anything making the noise until I felt a vibration on my leg. It was then that I realized the buzzing had been coming from my phone. I’d turned the ringer off, but it was on vibrate. I glanced at the screen and saw that it was Sidney. It was the afternoon of a game, but he was calling. For just a second I let myself think that it was because he knew I needed someone right now.

“Hey, Sid,” I answered after clearing my throat.

“Bryce, are you okay?” he asked. He must have heard how choked up I was despite my best efforts to hide it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t expect you to call with the game tonight and everything.”

“It’s not a big deal. I guess I just wanted to talk to you too,” he told me, repeating what I’d said to him in the message I’d left earlier. I felt myself smile at that.

“So how are things?” I asked.

“Pretty good. It’s the typical busy start of a season, but nothing I’m not used to. How’s being home?” he returned. I sighed.

“My family is stressful,” I told him truthfully.

“Aren’t they all?” he joked, and I laughed. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m just reliving some memories.”

“Okay. Hey, I should get going and start getting ready for the game tonight. I’ll call you after?”

“That would be nice.” And strangely, that wasn’t a lie.

“Okay. Good luck with your family. Talk to you later.”

“Hey, Sid?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for calling.” I meant it. I didn’t know why, but just having him call, hearing his voice, had made me feel a little bit better.

“No problem. Bye, Bryce.” I hung up the phone and looked back at McKenzie’s gravestone.

“Monkey, I have something to tell you…..”

I began to tell her all about my plan for Sidney. She’d been the only other person besides Harmony that had known what Sidney had done to me on prom night. When I was done telling her all about the scheme I felt a small pain in my chest.

“I hope that’s not you trying to tell me not to go through with it, because I am. He’s not the person he makes himself out to be. You’ll see the truth when I’m done, I promise. I should probably get back to the house before someone actually realizes I’m missing. Ha, we both know that’s not going to happen, but Mom will notice her car is missing. I love and miss you, Monkey, and I promise I won’t go so long without coming to see you again. Happy Thanksgiving.”

I stood up and began to walk back to the car. Just like every other time I’d been here, I ended up turning and glancing over my shoulder at the place where McKenzie was laid to rest. My eyes locked on the stuffed gorilla and tears filled my eyes again. I sent out a silent goodbye to her and then got into the car and drove back home.